I am always so afraid of going to this doctor. She checks my heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, and of course my weight. I've been sent to the hospital by her before, and I am always paranoid that I'll be sent again.
Today is going to be a little different though. For three years my mom has always brought me. But last night I wrote my mom a two page note explaining why I wanted to go alone today, and this morning I woke up with a note from her and a check to cover the copay of the appointment. I'm going alone...and I'm not sure if that's going to help.
Another thing that I wanted to talk about today are some of the health effects of Eating Disorders.
A lot of people know the basics. Being underweight is a very obvious health hazard, especially to that person's heart. Not eating right can also lead to anemia, osteoporosis, low or high blood pressure, infertility, liver failure, depression, and lower body temperature...just to name a few.
There is one specific health effect that I have been struggling with since this whole thing began, and I have yet to meet anyone with the same problem. A lot of people with low body fat report feeling cold all the time. However, my body has taken it to the next extreme. Instead of just having blue nails like a lot of ED patients, when I get cold my body pulls all of the blood away from my fingers and toes in order to use it for my body itself. This is extremely scary! And it happens ALL the time.
Remember that fire station party that I went to on Saturday night? It happened there. If I get a chill, I can't shake it. On top of my toes hurting so much that I can't walk, I am terrified that my circulation won't come back. It ruins whatever I am doing during the winter ALL the time.
I think this is one of the most important things for me to get rid of. I have also been diagnosed with osteopenia, however I am doing the best I can every day to include more calcium into my diet. THIS circulation problem has stuck with me, and affected me for 3 years too long! The doctors said it may never go away...but they also said that getting more body fat on me MIGHT help it go away....and that is a chance I am willing to take!
So think long, and think hard about the little things that ED does to your body that affects your life. Now...think about how GREAT life would be without it.
It would be a pretty nice life, wouldn't it?