So...I'm typing really loud to try to wake my roomy up. Because I'm hungry and she's still sleeping!!!
I just found out that there is a Trader Joe's only 30 minutes from me! Granted, that's halfway across the state but I'm still planning on going there this Friday. Does anyone have any recommendations? I have NEVER been to one before, so I don't even know what they have!
One thing I came to realize yesterday is that people don't pay as much attention to food/weight as people with an eating disorder think they do. I know for me, personally, I've been in this mindset for so long that I have come to think that EVERYBODY thinks like I do...but that simply isn't true! If someone mentions that you're eating a lot, they say it and move on....they don't get absorbed in it, and keep thinking about it.
Or how about at the gym? I saw a girl running yesterday for over an HOUR and I couldn't stop thinking about how she was doing that, or if she had an ED too. This is SILLY! I get so caught up on these little things, when a normal person would just see her running and move along.
I'm not sure if I'm doing too well at making my point here....but it's something that is really reassuring to me. If I want to have an extra snack, my roommate isn't going to get so caught up on me doing that! She's going to see me do it, and move on.
I even tested it yesterday. And you know what? I was right! I went to go get bread from the fridge and I was so worried that she would say something to me. She did. But you know what it was? "You and my aunt are the only two people I know who keep their bread in the fridge." Ahh! It's so liberating to realize that eating is a part of life....it isn't all of life.
I tried posting this on HealthyforMyself's site, but I think it was too long. But I have a story to share with you guys. It's from last year, and has to do with what I was talking.
Last year in English class my teacher was talking about a friend that she used to have in college who could eat and eat and NEVER gain any weight. And she was telling us how frustrating that was. Then she asked the class "You know those people who eat and eat and you HATE them because they are always so skinny?....LAURA"
The ENTIRE class laughed and I honestly started to cry a little. I was still severely underweight and was planning on gaining weight that year and I felt like now that the whole class thought that it was impossible for me to gain weight, that they would notice when I actually DID gain weight.
A few days later, after my teacher had asked me MULTIPLE times if everything was okay (I became VERY quiet in her class after that comment) I decided to email her and tell her what was wrong. She responded with an apology, saying she didn't think before she made that comment but also didn't think that it would affect me at all. She also said that the class probably completely forgot about it by now.
She was right about one thing though....the class HAD forgotten about it. ED just makes everything seem like a bigger deal than it needs to be, and we all need to be more aware of it.
I had an amazing lunch today. It consisted of salad with 3 TBS hummus, A half of a wheat bagel with 1.5 TBS of peanut butter, and a bunch of grapes. Can you say protein/fat/carb packed power lunch?!