Sunday, November 30, 2008

Back at school

So I made it to UConn safe and sound, but definitely not dry. It's pouring outside, and keeps switching from sleet to rain to snow. Confused weather!

Now, before I get started on my pounds of homework, I thought I would just go around and take a few pictures of the food I have in my dorm. There is usually more, but with only ten days left I don't want anything to go to waste. Also, my roommate isn't here she isn't able to comment on how weird it is that I am taking pictures of my food!

(actually...this was my lunch earlier. And the LaraBar that I loved so much! I still can't get over how much I enjoyed that, and how satisfied it left me.)
I'm still sipping on this coffee. It's my new mug from target though! (I also have two matching bowls.) I am tired of wasting so much of the paper stuff, so I opted for the little extra work that it takes to wash these after I use them. Also, ED likes to pick on me when my trash can fills up really fast with trash from my snacks, so this will stop that voice altogether!
OH, and I am also trying some of that Hazelnut syrup for the first time. It's delicious!

Look how bare my fridge is!! I'm going to be picking up more yogurt tonight, but other than that, this is how it's going to stay. Chobani, cottage cheese, cheese, and veggie meat. So sad! =[

This is my favorite drawer! In the back I have Kashi Pumpkin Spice granola bars, Fiber One peanut butter oat bars, and one sad lonely chocolate chip Z bar. I also have plain oatmeal, maple brown sugar pecan oatmeal, and all the way on the right is my homemade "trail mix". (Post Great Grains cereal, dates, raisins, cranberries, almonds, walnuts, pecans, cashews, and sunflower seeds.)
The front row consists of Luna bars, Fiber one bar, Kashi go lean bars (hidden), almond butter, and the little packets of PB taken from the dining hall. This drawer seems to have a theme of Nuts! No complaints here!!

This drawer isn't as exciting. However, see those little packets on the left? Those are little 70 calorie pack trail mix's. So cute! Of course, I wouldn't eat them as a snack alone...but in yogurt or cereal or cottage cheese? Perfect. Also I have cinnamon, annies mac and cheese, progresso black bean soup, and my absolute STAPLE- skippy all natural pb.

I'm running to the store in just a few minutes. I'm going to be picking up bread, yogurt, lara bars (apple pie flavor!) and hopefully they have some pumpkin.

Before I run off, I just wanted to share something with all of you. It's something that my friends and I have been putting together for about 5 months now. It was inspired by a little book I found at Border's titled "14,000 Things to be Happy About". I posted a note on Facebook that began with "Happiness is..." and just waited to see if I received any comments. Well, before I knew it I had 162 comments, all with anywhere from 1- 20 different things that make people happy! It blew my mind, and it's still being added to as we speak. Every time someone else comments on it I am so excited to read it and think about what they wrote. I have always believed that it's the small things in life-the details-the fine print, that make life so much more worthwhile. So I'm going to share a few with you. These aren't necessarily my favorites, but they are the ones that right now, seem to spark a note with me.

Happiness is...

-making someone smile
-laughing 'till your belly hurts
-comfortable silences
-a child's laugh
-being the reason someone smiles
the ability to laugh at yourself
-not being able to say goodbye
-Kashi products
-falling asleep right away
-crisp autumn air
-the smell of freshly brewed coffee
-reading a good book
-walking just for the sake of walking
-a hug that you never want to stop

Not a real post....but not exactly a fake one =]

I'm just gathering my things and about to run out the door back to UConn. I'm so excited to be going back, but I only have 10 more days there until I'm home for 6 weeks! As I was getting ready I remembered that yesterday I fought my fear of foods with >200 calories and purchased a peanut butter cookie LaraBar. So...I decided to try it. ED told me to only have half....or even one bite and tell myself that I didn't like it. But I went for two....and then three....and then it was gone! And it is honestly my new favorite food! Move over pumpkin, you have competition! I read the wrapper and all that talk about whole, natural foods being the best for you just made me feel even better about having eaten it. My tongue is happy now, my body is satisfied, and I'm ready to go back to school...nourished, and content.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Pumpkin: where have you been all my life?!

I have fallen in love over vacation....with pumpkin! I don't know HOW I lived my life without out!! It's made it's way into everything these past few days....from a simple side dish, to my cottage cheese, to my sandwiches! Vitamin A deficiency? I THINK NOT!

I ate a verrryyyy early lunch today. I have so much to do and so many places to go that I decided to fuel up early so I would be able to do everything as fast and efficient as possible. I am going to be thinking clearly and only clearly take THAT ED!!!

Here's a picture of my breakfast/lunch (it's missing a peach Chobani that I had after my sandwich. Not my favorite, but still so creamy!)

On the left is my breakfast- two clementines and a mug of (half finished) coffee, and a coke zero (I'll explain a bit later). I also had a spoonful of skippy all natural peanut butter....which will be seen later as well. (I recommend reading WON'T be disappointed!)
On the RIGHT is my lunch. Two slices of Ezeikial toast- one topped with pumpkin and a slice of veggie turkey, the other with just veggie turkey, and some pumpkin on the side. Needless to say, that extra pumpkin made it directly onto the other, bare, slice of toast. It was so good!


Once again...this isn't my recipe exactly. I closed the webpage where I found it, so I don't know WHO to give credit to! But if this is your recipe, please tell me so I can give you credit for it!

I did make a few changes to it though....

Wondering what it is?! A vegan (except for the choco chips!) peanut butter filled, chocolate cookie! That's right a reeses in cookie form....except better!

There's peanut butter in there, trust me! I cracked one open to take a picture of it...but the moment I saw all of that peanut butter and chocolate chip goodness, I couldn't resist popping it into my mouth! Maybe the next time I munch on one, I'll have enough will power to take a picture before eating it =] It's been a long time since I allowed myself a cookie...but it's so much easier when they are vegan AND I spent an hour slaving over them. It was well deserved.

Now for a couple more pictures-

(For some reason after I add photo's my computer hyperlinks everything! I don't have time to figure out why I apologize!)

My computer stopped underlining? I am so confused!!!

Here is the recipe, for all those interested. I did make two changes though. First of all, I used vanilla soymilk since I don't drink the regular kind! And I also don't have parchment I just spritzed the pan with a little Pam and it worked wonderfully!

Vegan Peanut Butter Filled Chocolate Cookies
Makes about 26 cookies

1 ½ cups flour
½ cup cocoa powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ cup margarine
½ cup sugar
½ cup brown sugar
¼ cup soy milk
½ cup powdered sugar
½ cup peanut butter
1/3 cup chocolate chips

* Mix flour, cocoa powder, and baking soda in a bowl.
* In a separate bowl, cream together the margarine, sugar, and brown sugar. When combined, mix in the soy milk.
* Add the flour mixture to the wet ingredients and mix.
* In a separate bowl, mix the powdered sugar and peanut butter with a spoon or your hands.When ingredients are incorporated, add the chocolate chips and knead further with your hands to incorporate the chocolate chips.
* Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
* Take about a 2 or 3 tablespoons of the chocolate dough in your hand, and roll into a ball.Flatten the ball on the parchment paper to form a disk. Take a pinch or about 1 teaspoon of the peanut butter mixture and place in the center of the disk. Fold the edges of the disk up and over the peanut butter, pressing the seams together. Place the cookie seam-side down on the parchment paper to bake.
* Bake for 8-12 minutes in a preheated 350° oven.

OH. And it clearly didn't make 26 cookies =] I only used 2 TBS of the chocolate cookie dough per one tsp of the filling. Alterations will be necessary next time!

I hope you don't mind a little more rambling! I'll try to make it short.
I don't want this to sound lame in any sense, but Lee of For The Love of Peanut Butter has truly inspired me to move forward with my disease! In fact (I don't know if you know this Lee!) I have been reading her blog for over a month now, and this past Monday I had the first positive doctors appointment (ie. I gained a little! I need to gain A LOT more, but I did that little bit completely on my own- no parents!) in about 2 years! And I give a lot of the credit to her, because she's such a positive thinker, and I admire her to the extreme!

Last night I was sitting on the couch with my family. We had just put up the christmas tree (it's fake because my dog enjoys eating things!), decorated it, ate a dinner of leftovers, and were now all watching a movie and relaxing together. Well, I had my laptop next to me and a few ideas popped into my head. Ideas....or rather, goals. I am tired of having ED control my life! So I thought about things I am going to change in my life. That's Not ED. And these are a few I came up with:

1. I am going to start drinking less diet soda, and hopefully I can eventually cut it out. It's embarressing at times as to how much I drink. And can in no way be healthy! My sisters boyfriend picked me up a pack of those little Coke Zeros that you see in the first picture on here...and I don't like to waste so I am finishing those up and then no more for me! ED wants me to drink them so I feel less hungry, and then when I get bloated he says it's because I am fat. Well ED...NO MORE DIET SODA FOR YOU!!!!

2. Still eat fruit, but don't eat it as snacks simply because it feels safe. If I feel my stomach grumbling, I walk to the kitchen and immediately eat fruit. Fruit, fruit, fruit! All my calories seem to come from fruit! And I never feel satisfied after I eat it, unless it's accompanied by something else.

3. No going to bed hungry!

4. Try cooking more and experimenting with flavors. This blog is going to help me with that...and in fact, it already has! Lara bars, and peanut butter filled cookies? I would have never thought! And actually, I shared this goal with my mom and she told me that when I come home for christmas break we can make a trip to whole foods (it's a good 45 minutes it really IS a trip!!) I started making a small list of things I want to pick up...but I would LOVE LOVE LOVE (!) some more ideas. Even if you aren't sure if I would like it.

So far I only have two things:

Peanut Butter & Co. Mighty Maple PB
Extra-Firm Tofu

Sorry for the long post! I just needed to get everything out! Enjoy your day everyone!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Black Friday

This is just going to be another quick post. My appologies! I'll have pictures and more detail tomorrow though, so don't you worry!

I just wanted to update everyone on a few new things that I tried. First of all, I'm not sure if you remember me mentioning that I got a free sample of this in the mail:

Well, I decided to give it a try last night while I was sitting with my sister at work (she had to work a 16 hour shift yesterday! On Thanksgiving of all days! So I brought her dinner and sat at the EMT base with her from about 6pm- midnight). I have some pro's and con's to this treat!

CONS - First of all, despite only having 7 grams of sugar, it was EXTREMELY sweet. Probably because of the honey, but it was strange for me to not like something sweet! I don't know why exactly, but it was almost too much for me.

PROS- However, on the flip sit, the bar itself was very soft but there were full, crunchy nuts in the bar that contrasted the chewiness very well. Also, there were a lot of cashews, which I absolutely love!

Tonight I also tried some more of that pumpkin that I bought. I decided to take a chance and try cinnamon and salt. It sounds weird, but it was actually really good! I'm a huge salt addict though.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving and black friday! You all deserve to have AMAZING holidays, and so far I have been so impressed by how well everyone has dealt with everything. Have a goodnight!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

New Day, New Goals.

Hello Hello!
I don't know about where everyone else is living, but it is absolutely
GORGEOUS outside today! I can't wait to get my running shoes on and go exploring. But first...some much needed blogging =]

So yesterday I did a little grocery shopping fo
r the last 10 days or so that I'm going to be at school. For the most part I eat all of my meals in the dining hall, however, I am a snack MANIAC so therefore, always keep a substantial amount of food in my room. I didn't go overboard this time though, because whatever I don't eat either needs to come back home with me or sit in my room until the end of January- ick!

So here are a few things I managed to purchase, which I'm actually really excited about =]

Of course I picked up more of my favorite go lean bars, and a new Luna bar (for me) to try. But do you see that little guy in the corner? That's right folks, a fiber one protein bar! Chocolate Peanut Butter flavored!!! I'm not sure if this one is going to make it back to college =]

So remember that free granola bar I got in the mail last week? Well, along with it came a dollar off coupon for any Quaker Simple Harvest item. And since I finished my kashi oatmeal before I came home, I figured- why not try a different kind?! It's pretty high in sugar, which scares me a little, but I LOVE maple, and brown sugar, and pecans! So it was bought and WILL be eaten.
Now, about these oatmeal squares. They ring in at 210 cals for one cup, and to be brutally honest, anything over 200 cals is normally off limits for me. So why did I buy these? Simple. Because I like them. And I need to challenge myself! I'm really proud of myself for purchasing them, because when I spend my money on something, and it's sitting in my dorm, I will eat it. And I can't wait!

Let me start off by saying that I have gotten into a pretty bad habit. I've discovered that I do eat when I'm hungry, but I eat the lowest cal stuff I can find (last night I was hungry, so I ate carrots with mustard! Sound gross? It is.) And as I was munching on those, I began to question why I even bothered in the first place. I wasn't enjoying it, so how am I supposed to be more comfortable with eating?! So I am trying something new today. I am going to mix up different flavors and see what happens. I am going to eat new things, and savor those things, and learn to love eating (and with Thanksgiving tomorrow, I don't think the flavor thing will be TOO big of an issue =]) So I decided to start with my morning coffee. Instead of using skim or soy milk (which does taste good, don't get me wrong!) I gave this a whirl-
It's higher cal, but coffee was DIVINE! Totally worth it! My mom needs to watch out, because I might have just finished this little carton =]

Also, I was walking around the grocery store yesterday and noticed this on sale:

Now, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with it, but I love pumpkin so into my cart it went! We don't have any oatmeal here, so I was wondering if anyone had any other ideas? I have cottage cheese. Would that taste good? Any recommendations are greatly appreciated!!!

I hope everyone enjoys this day, and if your parents are cooking tomorrow (or if you are!) enjoy it, give the cook a helping hand (and get as much done tonight as possible!). And as you are creating something out of nothing, take notice to how AMAZING your body is. It's mobile, it's smart, and you are making an amazing feast out of seperate ingredients so that your family and friends can get together, appreciate one another, and enjoy life to it's fullest- interesting word choice for Thanksgiving, eh? =]

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

"PB&J" Lara Bars!!

First and Foremost!
This is not my original recipe.

I actually don't remember where I found it, but it isn't mine. Just wante
d to clear that up =]

It's rainy outside, so I didn't really want to venture to the grocery I used what I had on hand. This included-

-pre-chopped dates

d peanuts picked out of a trail mix!

Step on
e: measure measure measure!

1/4 cup craisins & 1/4 cup dates into the blender!
1/3 cup peanuts waiting to be chopped (can you believe that ALL the peanuts in the entire bag of trail mix measured out to be exactly what I needed?! I hope my parents don't grab the bag of trail mix hoping for some peanuts! It's just a little sparse =] )

Once you pulse the fruit until it's pasty, you pull is out and set it aside (this took longer than I thought, so be patient!)

Then you do the same with the nuts, and combine.

Then it's time to get your hands dirty! (My favorite part!)
From here, I just took a knife and split it in half.
My hands were sticky, so I couldn't take pictures of what I did next, but I just formed them into LaraBar shapes, and wrapped them with plastic wrap. The final product? :

If these taste as good as they smell/look....I'm going to be making these A LOT more.
However, I popped them in the fridge to harden a I haven't given them a taste yet. As soon as I do, I'll let you guys know!

What's on my agenda for today?
Target with my sister <3
Seeing my friends from Missouri and Maine! (well, that's where they go to college! I miss them so so much and can't wait to get together with them. I think we're going out to dinner and I can't wait!!!)

It's such a dreary day here in RI, so I'm taking this day to unwind from everything and prepare myself for a busy schedule the next two days. I promised myself that I would allow my body to rest when it needs to, and it definitely needs to! So don't forget to do the same! Treat your body well, and give it everything it deserves!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Some of my eats!

Good morning, good morning!

I decided to go around my house today and take pictures of some of my favorite eats! I'm sure a lot of them have been seen by EVERYONE before, but hopefully there are a few new-be's in there for everyone to get some ideas!

So here we go! --

I have had ALL of the Luna sunrise bars- except this one. I took it to my sisters house with my, planning on having it as my afternoon snack but to be honest I hated it! I thought it tasted like fluoride! I was pretty bummed out, but ate it regardless. My favorite one to date- Apple Cinnamon.

I got this for free in the mail the day I left UConn! I haven't tried it yet, but I can't wait!

I went to Starbucks last night, and asked them how much the little packet of almond butter would cost. Their answer? "You can just have it!" So I got this little 100 cal pack of MAPLE almond butter for FREE!!

I'm going to try my best to not OVER-rave about these things! AHDSLKFHDL. I hadn't had EITHER of these flavors yet (I usually stick to the choco-PB one or the choco-almond one (can you tell I like chocolate?!)) but I saw these at the market and picked up a few. I've only tried the cinnamon coffee cake one so far, but OMGosh! It was such an indulgence!! I felt like I was eating a coffee cake AND a candy bar all in one! I didn't want it to end! I can't wait to try the chocolate pretzel one. Afternoon snack? I think so!

I pretty much base my lunch every day off of these things! They are pretty good, and pair REALLY well with american cheese (I eat lactaid cheese because I'm lactose intolerant) and they have 13 grams of soy protein in just four slices. That, with a slice of cheese? Total protein= 20 grams, in a vegetarian sandwich!

When I come home, my mom dedicates the bottom drawer of the fridge to meeee! Love her! <3 From left to right is a butternut squash (my fav...aside from sweet potatoes) chobani yogurt, veggie hot dogs, and some whipped cottage cheese! So spreadable- I highly recommend it to everyone if you can get your hands on it!

Silk Soymilk--'nuff said.

I LOOOOVVVVEEEE my veggie burgers! Actually...I don't love the one on the bottom left- that's my mom's =] She isn't a veggie but she enjoys a good soy sausage every now and then. My favorite out of the remaining four? Amy's Texas Burger! It's much less artificial tasting, in my opinion. But all of them are extremely enjoyable.

I'm kind of iffy on this bread to be completely honest. It's really dry, but tastes good if it's toasted. It's a complete protein though, and wheat it's enjoyable in that sense! agenda for today:

Doctor (wish me luck!)
Going for a run
Helping my sister's bf cook dinner for the fire station
Out and about with my best friend ever!

Enjoy your day today everyone! Life's too short to do anything except!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Pictureless Post

My apologies for the lack of pictures, but I just don't find myself in the right circumstances to take pictures. However, I had a little revelation today...and I would like to share it with you.

It might be a little triggering, but if you read the whole thing I think it will make up for it!

I woke up this morning with no intent of eating breakfast (my cousin was having a baby shower with brunch included, and I figured I would just eat there.) I brewed myself a GIANT cup of coffee and got ready to go, but before we left my stomach wouldn't stop making noises! So I finished the life cereal, dressed up with soy milk and blueberries!

I got to the party and felt ED coming back! It was so stressful, that I gave myself a headache. I ended up drinking a little more coffee, and snacked on some scrambled eggs and french toast. But I wandered out of the room when it was time for desert, even though I really wanted a piece of that cake!

I was so low on energy that I napped on the way home. I knew I was going to be going to Panera (I work there for everyone who doesn't know!) to visit everyone and tell my manager when I can work over xmas break, and I was also headed to do some grocery shopping. I really wanted to have energy for both of these so I had a kashi go-lean crunch bar (1st time having the chocolate almond one, and OMGosh! so good!) and then nuked a sweet potato in the microwave. This gave me MAJOR energy, and I felt great visiting my friends and shopping!

Dinner was a veggie burger, panera's wg bread (my fav!, and I get it for free =] ) and some carrots. But afterwards I was laying on the couch and felt my stomach still grumbling, so I treated myself to two pieces of Ezeikial bread with lots of pb. I felt TERRIBLE about eating so much pb until it hit me. I had energy. I avoided food and didn't enjoy myself around my family, but then enjoyed my friends after I let myself eat. And now, I just finished my favorite snack EVER and am able to smile and chat happily with my parents.

I always find myself more okay (not grammatically correct, sorry!) with eating at night...and that needs to change, because I need to be okay during the day so I can have the energy to enjoy life!

So I'm going to begin tomorrow- eating well THROUGHOUT the day so I will have energy to live life. Because I deserve it. That's right. The first time I've EVER said that.


That felt good.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Home is Where the Heart is <3

Good Morning Everyone! (I'm well aware that there isn't an "everyone" yet, but I'm going to pretend =] )
I made it home last night around 8. My mom and I decided to get dinner at the dining hall before we left, because it was going to be a good hour and a half drive home. I don't have any pictures (sorry!) however I ended up having a veggie burger, wheat bread, and some mixed veggies. It was delish' as always, however I am SO happy to be home and have home cooked food instead of dining hall food!

Before I left I took a few pictures of the food that I have left around my dorm. Which, isn't much because I was going home! But here they are! -

(Custom made cereal, cinnamon puffins, kashi h2h)

(Kashi Pumpkin Spice Crunchy Bars, ChocoChip Z Bars, Nature Valley Sweet&Salty Bar, Chex Mix Turtle Bar, Fiber One Oats& PB Bar)

I'm a HUGE cereal and bar person. They are both just so convenient. When I buy a box of cereal, I usually portion it out into little baggies, and then put the baggies back into the box. Why do I do this? Well, two reasons. First of all, I have a lot of trouble with portion control. It comes as a surprise to some people that a recovering anorexic would have trouble STOPPING eating, but I do! It's pretty frustrating, because I end up feeling really sick and disgusted afterwards. So I have learned to portion everything. That way, I don't feel guilty for eating what I like, and what I want to eat.
And secondly, it's more convenient to reach into a box and pull out a baggie of cereal for a quick on-the-go snack!

I woke up early enough to drive to my favorite coffee shop EVER! (Oh, how I missed driving!) It's called coffee connection. Here's my cup-

(Regular coffee with extra [steamed] soymilk, 2 splenda, and cocoa powder on top. Yum-o!)

When I got back I explored the food cabinets, and found one of my favorite cereals!

I had a bowl of this with some soymilk, and I'm munching on an apple as I type. No picture of the apple, but I bet you know what it looks like! =P

I'm really excited for lunch. My school is T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E at making sweet potatoes, and it just so happens my mom has ONE left in our fridge. I have a feeling it's not going to be there when she comes home from work! =]

One last picture before I go. This is my dog Sophie. I love her to DEATH! She's a little mop-ish right now, but don't you folks worry- she has a "hairdresser" appointment at 3!! Which, is funny because I have one a four. I need ideas of what to do- stat!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

First Post!

Hey everyone! I'm new to this blogging thing, so please bare with me! Actually, I'm not even sure where I'm headed with this....but it's most likely going to be a food blog! I tend to find myself having poor eating habits throughout the day, and then snack like CRAZY at night. This needs to stop! So I'll be trying my best to keep myself in line while making sure I get everything I need. Caring for your body shouldn't be a hastle! College life can be extremely hectic though, but lucky for me tomorrow is my last day here until Thanksgiving vacation! My parents are coming at 5 tomorrow to take me home, but I'm not sure if I'm going to the dining hall with them or if I'm going to be eating at home. Oh well, I'm just glad to finally be home!

I can't figure out how to get that picture ^up there^ to go \/ down there \/. I'm such a terrible blogger! Well, anyways, I just wanted to credit Lee
for it! I hung up a BUNCH of her affirmations onto my wall behind my bed, so whenever I walk into my room I can read them! They really keep me going, so thanks Lee!