Wednesday, January 14, 2009

*insert creative title here*

First off. Last night I tried oats and peanut butter for the first time. The verdict? I don't know why the hell it took me so long to try this!!!


Sorry about all these phone pics! I've been quite the social butterfly this past week, so it's hard taking pictures of my food with a normal camera without being questioned!

Along with a hummus&lettuce wrap and broccoli with a tiny bit of Olive Oil. Hello visible fat!


Okay, what I really want to talk about this morning is the movie I went to see last night. I don't know how many of you have seen the movie Seven Pounds, but I can honestly say to you that it changed my life. I don't want to explain the movie in any depth to you because I'm sure many of you still haven't seen it. And if that's the case, PLEASE see it.

I went into that movie kind of stressing about food because I was really hungry and had a Luna bar with me, but had planned to have my frozen yogurt when I got home. Well, in the end I realized that I wanted to pay attention to the movie, not my stomach, and I could work out the yogurt situation when I got home. So I ate the Luna Bar, and payed attention to the movie.

Every minute that passed made me more and more thankful for my life, and guilty (in a sense) about spending so much time worrying about my eating disorder. Before my disorder I LOVED helping people, I had hobbies and passions and a love of life that could never be explained nor captured. I was a different person. I was the person that I want to be now, and the person that I could look back on when I am 80 and say "hell yes. I lived a life I can be proud of." I want that person back. I want to wake up in the morning and do every. little. thing. that I can to help people! I get such honor and pleasure out of being a good person, that I get upset to think that I wasted over 3 years of this ability to help, being so consumed with my own body, and my own problems.

This is a quote from the movie that I sent myself via cell phone the moment I heard it.

"i haven't treated myself very well these past few years"
"well start now."

And that is EXACTLY what I am going to do. I am going to start now. Instead of focusing so much of my life on food and myself (which trust me, some of that is still needed!), I'm going to also focus my attention outwards. I want to help people and make THEIR lives better, because by doing so I make MY life better.

This movie left me speechless. I left the theater unable to think of anything to say. My sister and her boyfriend were just goofing around, as if this movie had ZERO affect on them. But there I was, moving slowly and just thinking. And I mean REALLY thinking. Not about ED or that yogurt waiting for me at home. But about the movie. About my life. About EVERYTHING that matters.

Please see this movie.

6 comments:

  1. heya girlie,
    i just commented again on the poast below instead whoops...so be sure to read that one too :)

    that movie sounds really good and after hearing your review i may just drag my sis to see it this weekend :) i think when we go thru something so hard like an ed and recovery we internalise things more and think more deeply about things and life. thats prob why your sis and her bf werent affected and you were left speechless!!
    glad u enjoyed it!!

    love u girlie,
    xxxxx

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  2. Aw lovebug I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the movie so much! That is truly a great quote and can apply to all of us :)

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  3. yes girl, I love this! I haven't seen this movie but I am definitely planning on it now - I think this is an important lesson that we all need to learn! I am so proud of you for internalizing this method - it shows a tremendous willingness in you to open up your mind! Thank you for sharing this Laura - I definitely have taken it to heart :)

    Have a fabulous day love <3 xoxo

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  4. oatmeal and pb are meant to be together! and yesss for adding olive oil to your broccoli! im so proud of you girly :)

    im really glad to hear that you enjoyed the movie! i have experienced the same feelings (and hunger) in theaters before - i always feel so motivated and strong when i leave. whether it is the storyline, dark environment, or what; it makes you feel like it is so silly to live by your ed! there is much more to life than restricting and rules and food. im so proud of you laura! you have the right mindset and i will definitely make a point of seeing this movie :)

    <3 you!

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  5. What a GREAT realization to have in a movie theater! That hummus wrap + broccoli looks yummy, too.

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  6. I loved that movie too. I only went to watch it because of Will Smith (I heart his movies), and I really thought it was such a great movie. So glad that you got so much from the movie! I completely agree with you!

    And that is such a great quote from the line. <3

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