Thursday, January 22, 2009

A scary morning...

Okay. So. I'm not in the posting mood but I feel the need to share a couple of things with you gals before my DREADED Chem class!

I woke up early to walk to the Cafe and get some java. After doing some blog reading and getting ready I heated myself up a bowl of High Fiber oatmeal-

Eaten with a fork because SHOCKER, we're out of spoons =]

While sitting in my nutrition class I started getting REALLY hungry, so I ate a Kashi soft-baked cereal bar (no pic, sorry!). I was planning on having this between my nutrition class and my music class but I was starving so I gave in.

Well, then something interesting happened in my music class. It happens every now and then, and I think it has something to do with my caffeine intake but I can't be certain (it hasn't happened in a LONG time). I was sitting there, and started to get really jittery and sweaty and my heart started racing. I could NOT sit in that class any more, so I texted my friend who was sitting somewhere in the auditorium and then booked it straight to the dining hall. I find that eating something calms this feeling almost instantly, so after a few minutes I was better.

I grabbed an apple and a tea bag, and had this once I was back at the dorm.



I also had two slices of bread with two tablespoons of peanut butter. I was really frightened, even though I can't be certain it had anything to do with my food intake...because I've been eating well these past few days.

HOWEVER.

I made a decision.
I dug around through my folders and pulled out my old discharge plan. It's based off of exchanges and I have officially decided to begin following it. I am tired of feeling like I am overeating at night, because I don't eat enough during the day. So I feel like this will give me a certain level of comfort, and structure, that I need in order to succeed throughout recovery. I plan on being 100% honest at my doctors appointment on monday- that means with the nutritionist too.

I'm very ready to begin this. Or rather, to END this. =]

14 comments:

  1. congrats love...stay stong with this new plan! you can do it i belieeeevveeee in yoU!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. this is GREAT laura! i used to do the same thing-- undereat all day and then felt "too full" after dinner. it's so much better to eat more throughout the day- you have ENERGY! and you have HUNGER CUES which means your body will let you know it's hungry/full! then you wont have to worry about dinner so much! this sounds like a great realization day-- not a scary one! :)

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  3. LAUR~

    I am S0 PR0UD 0F MA GURL!!! This is HUGE and today you showed Ed who was boss... In fact you listened to Y0UR B0D! I have been in that saaame exact pool (not eating enough during the day and feeling like I wayyyy overate come evening time), but you WILL have progress with this, I promise! You'll also notice that you won't be thinking about food all day long because you're satisfied. I'm so proud of you that you're going to stick with this plan, lovebug. I think it's about time you really take this journey seriously, you know! You're ready... You're old enough, mature enough, and W0RTH M0RE THAN EN0UGH!

    I'm here for you always, through thick and thin, and am proud of you nomatter what, babydoll. We all are!

    Love you!

    [PS] I'd say this day was a Victorious one! Definitely a blessing in disguise for you :) Way To G0!! <333

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  4. ps i get my adoras at wholefoods!

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  5. wow girl - that does sound super scary but i'm glad there was a silver lining to this situation and you used it as incentive to follow that meal plan - that is WONDERFUL Laura! I am so inspired by your strength and courage to take care of this confront this issue full force and i LOVE the way you put it.. "to end this".. hell yeah! I am BEYOND proud of you missy! Keep being that little ball of fire that i love so much :)<3xoxo

    p.s. i laughed so hard when you said that there weren't any spoons left at school! I remember i went up to Uconn last semester and ate at Northwest and all of the plates/bowls/cups/utensils..EVERYTHING was paper! I couldn't fit more than like two bites of cereal into my little bowl. so funny! Oh Uconn!

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  6. Laura - you are amazing!! I'm so proud of your dedication to recover :)

    About the little scare there, have you ever been diagnosed hypoglycemic? That happens to me now and then when my blood sugar drops too low - in that situation it's best to have some sort of sugar but really a protein would be best. Hope that helps, it can be scary!

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  7. hi hun,

    ok so proud of you right now, ur such a star :) i think if you want a bit more structure into your food routine using the meal plan as a guideline is a fantastic idea!! its really great you came up with that idea yourself and took control of the situation!!
    i sometimes get like that..for me its cause of low blood sugars..to do with hypoglycemia, ive never been tested as its not often it happens but when it does happen its got all the symptoms of someone with that so.

    anyways girlie hope u have a fun day,
    love u
    xxxx

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  8. I am proud of you for being aware that something was NOT right and that you NEEDED to take care of yourself hun!!! I hope you are ok!! I was wondering if it could be your blood sugars too.. hypoglycemia! Being honest with the doctors and nutritionist will HELP you, I believe in you hun!!!

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  9. yes! great job listening to your body! i have experienced so many similar symptoms and it is frightening! you just want to eat and feel better. but you did the right thing by eating an apple (healthy sugar) and pb sandwich (protein and carbs) because like others have already mentioned it is a drop in your blood sugar. way to go! i love your new motivation to follow your meal plan exchanges! you will feel so proud and accomplished after a week :)

    keep going strong girly! you deserve to be happy and healthy! xo

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  10. Yikes! It's hard to know from just what you've said, but I almost wonder if it was a panic/anxiety attack, rather than blood-sugar related. I've had them before, and they don't usually hit when I'm feeling actively stressed out -- more like when I'm having a 'low'/blue day generally, and suddenly my heart just starts racing, etc. It's scary!

    I am SO proud of you for deciding you need to go back to the guidelines. I think you'll definitely find some comfort and healthy structure in that!

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  11. i just edited to add to my post-- bc i totally get guys with certain financial situations but the guys i date are usually older (have their own jobs) and not relying on mum n dad. i would totally b more understanding if that were the case! hehe just thought i'd clear that up but thanks for the input doll

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  12. nonono not a bit! don't apologize!!!!! xo

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  13. i know you can do it babe! keep your chin up!

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  14. hey bundle of love, i love how you had this epiphany! ITS SO IMPORTANT THAT U TAKE CARE OF URSELF. LEARNING TO LOVE, LAURA--YOURSELF!!! ITS WHAT WE AIM FOR!!

    im not sure if that sounds like it was food/intake related either, however, our bodies respond when we do things constistantly. so if youve been doing well the past 2 days, ur body can still be in shock. take care of urself girl, and remember this is what my RD told me when i was underweight:
    "When you underweight, never be hungry. your chances of death and cardiac arrest quadruple"

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