Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Wow

thanks for all the amazing responses you guys!
I know I'm posting a lot today, but since most of you recommended the same things, I thought I would post a general response instead of commenting individually.

My mom and I (and my dad) have done family therapy before, but it has never worked out. My mom takes the lead saying that she knows what's best and I simply need to eat more. She thinks that once I begin to put on weight, I will also get better mentally. As much as I try to talk to her about this, she only listens to what my medical doctors tell her...not what the therapist or I tell her.

In addition, our therapy sessions tended to be directed solely towards her. I have a different therapist now, who is willing to talk to my mom, but I only have one or two more sessions until I go back to school, and I would prefer it be just me and the therapist. Maybe once I come back for the summer I can ask my mom to come with me. I know she is concerned, and it kills me to know that I am making her life more stressful than it needs to be.

I know this isn't just me having trouble with her...my older sister actually ended up moving out because she couldn't deal with my mother any more. It's so crazy because she is honestly the sweetest person you will ever meet. She is just extremely OCD and controlling, but will NEVER admit to it. I've tried talking to her about it on various occasions and she denies doing any of the things that she does, or she says that she is a mother and she is just doing what she needs to do. She's a bit stubborn too...which is where I get it from =]

And to answer your question, Amy, my dad and I are VERY close. I can talk to him so easily, and we joke around so comfortably. But our relationship isn't very serious. He's kind of my relief from daily life. My breath of fresh air. And I like that.

And Jaime...I think I am going to come clean with my nutritionist tomorrow. I'm absolutely terrified, but I feel as if I need her support in order to come up with a meal plan that suits my needs...instead of her giving me a HUGE one that I just cut down. I'm still not sure if I'm going to be able to do it tomorrow...I'm going to try though!

4 comments:

  1. YAY! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!! i know it will seem hard but like i said before all your nutritionist cares about is that YOU ARE HEALTHY! ED/DE is a deceptive "disease" and if she has dealt with ED clients in the past-- she knows that sometimes ED wants us to lie to people that want to help us so that ED can keep us trapped. I'M SURE your nutritionist will not be phased by the fact you have not been completely honest (and to tell you the truth-- she probably knows this already bc if you were eating everything she said-- she probably would expect some healthy gradual weight increase) YOU WILL BE FINE GIRL! you are MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION! being honest with your nutritionist is a HUGE step in your recovery!!! good for you!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. Oh my gosh, that is awesome! And good luck with the nutritionist tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you! Hope things go well, and can't wait to hear how it goes. Stay strong girl!

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  3. heya hun,
    i didnt get a chance to comment on your last post so il jus respond to this one and the last now.
    im sorry you and your mum have a difficult realtionship. controlling mums...is..well something i knw a bit about too. my mums a ocd clean freak and kinda controlling too..shes obbsesive about everything being spotless and when anyones in the kitchen making food she hovers giving out about making a mess when we havent even finshed making the food let alone got a change to clean up. one thing that works for me is saying to my mum look can you please just give me space or in your case with the comments she makes you could jus say please mum i appreciate your input but i dont realy need to hear it right now. it seems she really doesnt understand your ed which must be very hard for you. i hope she will attend some therapy sessions and gain better knowledge of what your going thru. but im glad u and your dad are close :)
    im really proud of you for deciding to come clean and talk to your nutritionist. after all she just wants you to be healhy and happy and ,depsite what ed says. shes not trying to make you fat.
    your makiing some great realizations hun, so proud!!
    love ya girlie,
    xxx

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  4. I am so proud of you for you taking the step to be open with your nutritionist! SO important hun! I wish you the best today! HUGS

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