Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Article.

Walk around any dorm or dining hall here on campus. Chances are, you’ll hear girls complimenting each other on their appearances, or complaining about how “fat” they are. In a culture so obsessed with dieting and being thin, it’s become the norm to dwell on food and looks, setting unreal standards and going to extremes to look a certain way.
In fact, “an estimated 19 to 30 percent of college females are diagnosed with an eating disorder,” according to “Eating Disorders: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention.”
“There’s this obsession with being thin instead of being healthy. People should be learning to love themselves,” said Laura Carr, a second-semester undecided major.
Carr, 18, suffers from an eating disorder. To help herself - and others with similar struggles -she blogs about her life with “Ed” – an insider nickname for “eating disorder” that Laura says comes from the book Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer.
Laura’s blog, called “Learning to Love,” is a journal of sorts. In it, she recounts the events of her day, even sometimes writing about boys she likes and her job at Panera Bread back home in Cumberland, R.I.
However, this is not just some teenager’s LiveJournal. Carr takes pictures of new foods she tries (most notably, the many varieties of protein bars she loves), talks about how she’s feeling and analyzes things that are bothering her. Sometimes, she even tries exercises in dealing with Ed, such as personifying her eating disorder and describing “Laura’s Ed” and “Laura” – two completely different people.
“It makes it more clear to us what (thoughts) are healthy thoughts and what are not healthy thoughts,” Carr said.
Carr’s blog is also much more than her own therapeutic outlet. She has an entire community of followers, many with blogs of their own, which Carr reads, too.
“I’m trying to gain weight. Seeing other people trying to gain weight helps,” she said. “Trying something new can be a big deal for someone with an eating disorder. Sharing it with them gives me encouragement.”
Carr started her blog after reading a dietician’s blog entitled “Eat Like Me,” which was put out by SELF magazine. She commented, asking the blogger if someone with an eating disorder would make a good dietitian – something Carr is interested in pursuing.
Another blogger who commented left a link to their blog. Carr checked it out, and the close-knit community of readers seemed “close and supportive.” She decided to begin blogging so these girls could get to know her story as well.
Carr’s story goes back about three years, to when she was a swimmer following in the footsteps of her older sister.
“I thought, ‘If I’m thinner maybe I can swim better,’ which makes no sense because if you’re starving, how could you swim?” Carr remembered.
In April 2006, she went to see a doctor about bad circulation. That doctor recommended an eating disorder specialist. Carr said she was in complete denial, but she was sent to the hospital and treated for a low heart rate anyway. Since then, she’s been in a constant state of recovery.
“I keep telling myself I can do it. It gets harder as the years go on,” Carr said.
With her blog, Carr is, perhaps unintentionally, shattering stereotypes about eating disorder sufferers – and what it’s really like to be thin, for that matter.
“Being thin does not guarantee you happiness,” Carr said. “ED ruins your life. A lot of people assume eating disorders are just physical, but it’s not at all.”
“It ruins families, friends – it becomes your life. It’s absolutely terrible. The sooner you can get help, the better,” she said.
Ideally, Carr hopes that people will start to realize that this weight obsession isn’t helping anyone.
Many of her friends here at UConn don’t know she has an eating disorder, and Carr admits this can be “pretty difficult.”
“A lot of subtle comments people make about dieting, like, ‘Oh, I shouldn’t eat that,’ or ‘Oh, I should go to the gym,’” really bother her, and “watching TV can be hard. A lot of times I have to change the channel,” she said.
In her blog, which can be found at, Carr often writes that she loves helping people. She hopes that speaking out about eating disorders will enable others to get help, and not to pass judgment so easily on people of all shapes and sizes.
And, she really hopes to continue to help herself.
“I think one of the hardest things is when people compliment the body I have now. It’s not me, it’s the eating disorder,” Carr said.
Although she still struggles with food every day, Carr wants what most people want – for others to look at what’s on the inside.
“This isn’t how I should look. I want to stop looking like my eating disorder and look like Laura. I wish people would stop focusing on looks and focus on the person.”

(Written by Julie Stagis- Staff Writer of University of Connecticut's Daily Campus. )


  1. baby love i am so proud of you! seriously, this is exactly what you needed. it's cement, it's real - it shows you are fighting! i admire you so much; the majority of my college friends don't know about my struggles - to be honest, a lot of my best friends don't understand the depth. they know i struggled with eating and body image issues, but i definitely keep my blog private. i think what you did was great and i hope you are beaming with pride! let us know what kind of feedback you get! <3

  2. heya sweetie,
    ok so im so incredibly proud of you :) you really did shatter any stereotypes of ed suffers and let your story be known. its a really good article that definetly points out the destruction of ed and what its really like to have an ed.

    you did us all proud hun, and so many girls are gonna be able to relate to this, id say your gonna be a star at college :)

    love you lots girlie
    your s star!!

  3. Beautifully worded article, congrats on being so honest and campuses NEED articles like this!

  4. I'm so proud of you lovely. You've inspired me to finally write the article my friends have been nagging me to write for the school magazine on stereotypes of eating disorders. You're amazing, I love you! xxx

  5. Laura - I have to tell you, I am CRYING right now - but i also have the biggest smile on my face. You are so courageous for putting yourself out there.. for taking a risk.. and having the strength to share your story and inspire so many girls. you are such a wonderful role model my deal girl. I can't put in to words how proud I am of you <3

  6. A great article! Very to the point, but it still hits on the important issues. And, of course, you sound very wise and well spoken. Good job to you and the writer!

  7. the article came out great!
    so proud of you for being so open.

    happy sunday <3

  8. this is SO ridiculously awesome. Her article is really well-written and your input is very well thought out and meaningful. I think this will be SUCH an extreme eye-opener to college readers- and if it can help one girl with an ED, or help people to stop the FAT TALK and is soooo soo worth it. You are SO strong and brave to put yourself out there, bravo and I can't wait to hear what comes of this!!!

  9. wow that is a great article, you should be proud of yourself .. i don't know if i could ever open up like that.. you gooo girl!


  10. wow laura - this is a beautifully written article! im so proud of you! and im so proud that i know personally know you :) i know you may have been a bit apprehensive about doing this but just think how many girls you have inspired or helped at uconn? i think you are so courageous and strong. ive found that opening up and sharing your disorder with others only makes the recovery process easier because people can be there for support when you need it most. its also a relief!

    i love you <3

  11. That was so touching..i am so glad you have put yourself out there and shown people that you cant be are an inspiration to us all..well done! xxxxxxxxxxx

  12. What a fabulous article!! It takes a really strong person to put themselves out there and let others see what's really going on - be proud!

  13. Hey Sweetie~
    That is a real powerful article and speaks for so many of us. I am so proud of you even though I don't know you too well. Your bravery in speaking up about your struggle is inspiring. You are so strong! As others have said, be proud of yourself!

  14. Aaah (in response to your comment on my blog) I love that idea - OK from now on every time I want a diet drink I'm going to have a bottle or glass of water first and if I still want the diet drink afterwards, have it (I probably will, let's be honest! but at least I'd be cutting down because I cannot physically double the amount I drink!) Love you lots xxx

  15. this is beautiful, laura. i am so happy for you right now- this is going to reach SO many girls at your school. you are awesome :)

  16. great job laur! i'm so proud you did the article. you should be really proud of yourself

    btw-- in my post i basically meant that i already eat sufficient calories according to the meal plan given to me by the nutritionist, and i want to gain weight in a slow and healthy way which i am doing-- therefore if i want to eat sf/ff things thats my choice and NOT DE's because i am ALREADY eating sufficient calories and not restricting my intake. :)

  17. Laura, very glad Life Without Ed has been useful. And thank you for help us spread the word about our book -- and about what divorcing ole Eddie can mean. Thom Rutledge/