Monday, February 9, 2009


Look at it!!! Front page!

I can't tell you how excited I was to see this! It was actually a bit different than the one I posted on here, but I absolutely LOVED it! Julie did such an amazing job writing this, and incorporating the perfect balance of statistics, quotes, and information about my blog. It's exactly what I was hoping was going to be published. There was even an opinion from an RD who works at the Hospital of Central Connecticut. She said that "I think it's great. I think any type of support system, whether it's family or strangers in an internet blog who are going through the same thing is really helpful." (Kelsey Mangano, RD.) How great is that?!

I've also already been contacted by a few people from my school who read the article and are also suffering from Eating Disorders. I just want to give a shout out to all of the readers who are from UConn- thank you SO much for taking the time to find and read this blog. You can find me on Facebook if you want to talk in a more private atmosphere! Otherwise, please feel free to continue reading this and comment as you please! I love knowing that there are readers out there who may be struggling in the same environment that I am. So, welcome. =)

So, this is the frozen yogurt that I'm chipping away at as we speak.

I did want to touch upon something today that I've read a lot about in random blogs the past few weeks, and that is fear of hunger.
I've read that a good amount of people try to eat a substantial meal so that they don't feel hungry before they are "supposed to" (ie. time for a snack or another meal). Well, I find myself in this predicament once in awhile, but seem to find myself in exactly the OPPOSITE situation more often. I am scared of perpetual fullness. When I feel my stomach getting full, I get scared. I worry that I will never feel hungry again. I'm not really sure where this is coming from, or what I am scared of exactly, but I often eat foods that I know will not leave me feeling full. The problem with this, however, is that in addition to lacking the full-feeling, I also lack the satisfaction-feeling. This causes me to eat until I receive the level of satisfaction that my body is happy with, which often leads to feeling full, and sometimes guilty for overeating. Isn't that funny how my body finds a way to get what it wants?

So my new goal- eat until I am satisfied. Whether this means feeling full or simply feeling content. I need to start eating foods that will nourish my body, instead of eating just to not feel hungry any more.

Today is yet another Dr. day, and I'm a bit nervous. I was kind of "off" the past few days, and I have a feeling it will show. BUT, that doesn't mean I have failed. It just means I need to wake up tomorrow and begin chugging away at recovery once again!!



  1. CONGRATS GIRL!!! I'm so proud of you for agreeing to be interviewed!

    Good luck today with both the appointment AND your goal :)

  2. Yay! I'm so happy for and proud of you!

    I have both those feelings -- fear of hunger and fear of never feeling hungry again. Ack! I think the real fear is that I won't be able to CONTROL my hunger, either way. That my body will want something before I want to feed it, or that my body WON'T be ready for more food when I see something I want. I think that as I gradually learn to relinquish control over various situations, that fear will naturally abate.

  3. i am just so proud of you, i can't put it into words. mostly because i would never have the courage to do that, although every inch of me would want to. you are so inspiring and i hope recovery turns out to be a fast and flawless process for you, because you deserve nothing less! i used to freeze that yogurt too! and eat it like fro-yo! hahah, but now it doesn't keep me full at all and actually makes me crave sugar, so i try to stick to stuff with more protein. i still love freezing it though!! :) love you girl

  4. Yay for the article being published! A for Awesome :)
    I love your goal- eating until content or full. Beautiful.
    Have a fabulous day!

  5. Amazing accomplishment in regards to your article! I'm so happy for you--it's great you were able to speak out for ED recovery. Hell yes!

    I am the same way--fear of fullness. I get so nervous that I won't be hungry for my next meal. Its something I'm still working on but I just hate feeling full. I'd so much rather be hungry. It'd make eating all my meals so much more enjoyable (and easy).

    Love ya, have a great day and good luck at the Docs.

  6. YAY I am soooo thrilled about the article!!! :) :) and it already reaching out to others in need!! :) what a blessing!!!!

    Good luck at the Doctor today and your new goal- I love it, thats so important! :)

  7. Hi Laura! Just wanted to let you know I received my gift today and you did a rockstar job! This is my first time visiting your blog and its great you were interviewed.

  8. I also get scared that ill never be hungry again and that I wont be able to enjoy my next meal as much as I should.
    But then I also get nervous about my hunger too. Listening to my hunger signals has been difficult and it's still something I'm working on.
    Congrats on your article! That must have taken a lot of courage.

  9. congrats on first page, girl!
    i too am scared of feeling full--well...actually, Ed is scared of it, and he still has a grip on me in terms of fear. so i'm working to shake him. i'm glad your fear of feeling full is healthier than mine (i think...?).
    also, frozen yogurt is such a great idea! i'm going to have to try that.

  10. i am so proud of you laura!!! not only are you an inspiration to the blogging world - but an inspiration to ed victims all over connecticut. keep on fighting each day girly :) you can beat this!

    i am also scared of feeling full...and that i will not be able to eat my next meal. its awful, isnt it? ed likes to make up excuses for me to not eat when im not overly hungry which causes a lot of anxiety and pressure. but it is so important to feel satisfied! i make sure i am satisfied after each meal/snack because i hate the feelings of deprivation. one of the most important goals in recovery is freedom - so you deserve to eat whatever your heart desires!

    enjoy your night! im so proud of you :D

    p.s i love your frozen yogurt! i have to try this tomorrow <3