Sunday, March 8, 2009

Changes

Let me explain my lack of posting...

The last time I came home, I came home to my mom, my dad, my dog, and my bird. That was all that was residing in our household.
However, this time I came home to my mom, my dad, my sister, two cats, a dog, a bird, and a fish. Now mind you, I do not live in a big house by any means. After all, it is only one floor. And I know a lot of people live with many more kids, but I'm just not used to having cats constantly in my face, and someone always around!

As for my sister. Well, last week she called me to say that she was going to be breaking up with her fiance! She's been with him for over 3 years, and they've been living together for almost TWO!! It was completely out of the blue, and I'm still trying to get used to her living at home again, and not seeing him....because he was definitely one of my best friends.

So basically, it's been madness since I came home. My mom is stressed out about the cats because they get into everything, my dad is trying to fix everything that mysteriously broke in our house, my sister is going between work and home and trying to hang out with me every minute of every day, and I'm here just trying to relax for a week! But I must say, I've been eating really well since I got home. I've also been spending a lot of time out of the house with my friends, so I think that maybe this change of routine is actually helping me keep my mind off of myself. Who knows!!!

ALSO

I just wanted to mention this before I run (by run...I mean ERRANDS GALORE!!)
I joined a gym at home today. It's one week free and it's more of a day club sort of thing. They have a jacuzzi and yoga and a fitness center and basically anything you can want! Well...included in that list is also a scale. Now, as you girls probably remember, I gave up weighing myself about a two months ago...mainly because the scale went MIA at school. But it had been a stressful few weeks, but things got easier and I began to follow what I craved, and just tried to listen to my body. And yes, there were times when I OVER ate, and felt guilty (although I try my best not to!). Those were times when I would be worried about gaining (silly...because I need to!!). But I ate things that I never would have imagined eating before (sandwiches on bagels, packs of cookies, big girl clif bars, etc). So knowing that I could weigh myself today made me extremely curious. So I did. And you know what? Two months of NO weighing, and the number didn't budge one bit. Wait...what? ED? You were WRONG!?!? That's a surprise...

This comforted me to a certain extent. I mean, I know I still need to make progress, but auntie flow visited me again this weekend, and I've been eating a lot of fear foods and trying to listen to my body, and all the while I thought "wow, I MUST be gaining weight. I didn't exercise today and I ate SO much". But once again, ED was a bastard (excuse me) and has been lying to me for a good 2 months. Thanks BUD!

Pictures and updates and the whole SHABANG are coming, I promise! But I've got things to do so I'll "see" you girls later! Enjoy your Sunday!!

<3

11 comments:

  1. sorry about the craziness with your your sister and family...everything will work out in the end; no worries!

    but i love the updates that i heard in this post! i'm glad that you've been able to show ED that he's not right and that what you're doing is right, but try your hardest to stay away from that scale at the gym. i have just discovered that my roommate has one and am trying super super hard not to weigh myself. it cane become addictive again.

    but have a great sunday babe!!!!

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  2. hi hunni
    im so so sorry to hear about the sis and fiance breaking up :(
    but on a more positive note i couldnt be prouder of you :) your doing so wonderfully, challenging yourself and pushing past the ed fears! you sound like your really enjoying your time at home which is awesome too!
    and isnt it great when we see ed lies and our bodies arent growing bigger everyday...the more we expose eds irrational thoughts the better! keep up the positive attitude hun :)
    and i tried the raisin clif bar today..it was sooo good :)
    love you lots
    xxxx

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  3. Great job on not letting the stress of your home imapct your eating. It sounds like even though things are crazy, you are doing great.
    Keep telling yourself that ED is wrong...

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  4. That is insanity at your house! Crazy!! Way to go on showing ED how wrong he is!!

    Glad you updated - I missed you (what can I say, I'm greedy ;) )! Have a spectacular Sunday!!

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  5. Man, that sounds like a stressful situation at home. It's so weird to go from doing your own thing at school to constantly having animals and people running around you.

    That's awesome about ED. You show him, girl!

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  6. i'm so sorry about your sister's fiance. these ARE big changes! and thank you so much for showing us that ED does nothing, but lies! and YAY for auntie flow ;)

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  7. Sounds like things are crazy at home! But it can be nice to let other people's drama take center stage from time to time, right?

    And yeah, ED's a huge liar. He just didn't want you having any fun, so keep proving him wrong!

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  8. Wow it sounds like utter chaos at your house, and I'm sorry about your sis and her fiancee! That's so awesome that you haven't been weighing yourself, have been eating well and yet DIDN'T magically gain weight despite what ED wanted you to believe! Hope this week calms down a bit for you!

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  9. wow! i admire you so much for not weighing for two months! that is awesome girl- i def need to cut back-- for real! isn't is amazing how we are so scared that we will gain weight -- yet really we DONT!!!

    sorry about your fam situation -- but things will get better :) xo

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  10. Thanks for your comments on my list---I will try to keep your thoughts in mind!
    Take care and have a wonderful spirng break!

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  11. I just wanted to let you know that your blog gives me hope for the future. I have been anorexic since 17 and can't imagine being okay. You give me hope.

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