Saturday, March 28, 2009

So that's what I've been up to.

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. But I have been up to MANY new and exciting things. Some good..some bad..some still up for judgement! I was planning on going into a decent amount of detail, but I have so much studying to do, and gorgeous weather just WAITING to be appreciated. So I'll make this a more "picture-fied", yet thorough, post. But first-

[To all of the girls who commented on my blog for the first time last post, thank you! I wish I had time this weekend to personally comment back, and read all of your blogs, but as you will soon understand and find out- my life is a little too hectic now to take the time to do that! If I do manage to find a few minutes here and there, I'll take a look! But I just wanted you all to know how incredible it felt to read such genuine and heart-felt comments from girls who I don't even know. You all seem absolutely amazing <3 ]

Now let's begin with last Tuesday-

I got my grade back for Chemistry. I failed, and after a long discussion with my advisor, decided it would be in my best interest to drop the course. This brings me down to 10 credits, meaning I am technically a part time student. This also puts me a year behind in my major (dietetics).
After much, MUCH thought...I realized a few things. 1. The nutrition classes are not helping my recovery process. 2. Prior to having an ED, nutrition wasn't on my mind. I loved animals, and nature, and LIFE. 3. I think I might enjoy majoring in Environmental Science.

So now I don't know what I'm doing with my life. However, I do know what I'm doing with my RESIDENTIAL life next year!! I managed a few, ahem, "connections", and landed a spot in the Junior/Senior suites next semester!! Hilltop Suites here I come!!:




Two 3-person rooms are attached by a bathroom which includes a shower, toilet, and sink. There's also a kitchenette down the hall, a HUGE lounge with a big screen tv, and it overlooks the turf and track (as you can see). I am SOUPED!

I've also been trying new foods recently. And although I'm a little upset that no one FORCED me to have laughing cow before, I'm extremely obsessed.

We ran out of knives...
**Phone Pictures Alert**

Definitely not a good choice for breakfast.
but.
Definitely tasty!


I ate something green.

____________________________________
Let's break for Story Time!
So, I was at the library today, standing in line at the cafe to purchase the previously pictured Odwalla bar, when I overheard two girls talking about a friend of there's who recently "recovered" from an eating disorder. I say "recovered" because they were talking about her weight gain, not about her mental health. Well, one girl was telling her friend about a conversation she had with the "recovered" girl, which consisted of her being afraid that she was so noticeably fat now. Well, the other girl couldn't BELIEVE she would think that. She said that she could hardly tell that she had gained any weight, all she could tell was how much more beautiful she was now.

So you see girls. Health DOES = beauty. Not just in our eyes, but in everyone else's too.
_____________________________________

As the weather gets warmer, I find myself spending more time outdoors. Whether it be studying outside, hanging out with friends, or going on excursions, I just LOVE the fresh air and the ability to walk about and enjoy the world around me!



Now I'm not sure how many of you girls can relate, but as the weather begins to warm up, my food preferences change DRASTICALLY! I can (proudly!!) say that I've been eating ice cream on a regular basis, more cold cereal in the morning, lots of yogurt and popcorn and cheese and SALSA! But sadly, my craving for "heavier" foods has decreased. I just don't crave peanut butter or oatmeal or anything along those lines! At least...not as much. So I'm trying to find a comfortable place with these things, which is difficult but extremely doable. And reading this quote has helped my tremendously-


Yes, you've seen this before. This is the quote that my friend sent me earlier this week. But I wanted to take a (readable) picture for all of you to see. It's hanging on my wall to the left of me (when I'm laying on my bed) and every morning I read it to myself. "The greater a man's fear, the greater his potential courage." How incredible. How uplifting and inspiring and absolutely true. We all fear this disorder. We fear the loss of control, and change. But the more we fear, the more potential courage we possess. So take that courage and run with it! Show the world how strong, indomitable and UNCONQUERABLE you are! Because not only do every single one of you are possess those qualities, but you possess so so much more.

<3

17 comments:

  1. ah it's so great to hear from you Laur and i'm so happy your doing so well =). Those suites look SICK.. look at you, living the high life mama. and thank you for sharing that story love - so beautiful!

    have a great day and continue enjoying this weather (and ice cream..gotta make the most of that awesome dairy bar ya'll got up there!)

    xoxo - Jenny

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  2. Gotta love connections!! Glad you found a new major that you'll enjoy - you will excel at this because it's something you like :)

    Despite what you see on the blog this, "as the weather begins to warm up, my food preferences change DRASTICALLY" is SO TRUE! During the summer all I want is cold things even when it's not THAT hot out!

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  3. great post and so glad your embracing life xxx

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  4. I'm so glad you're thinking about changing your major! I am in the process of rethinking mine too. Who says we have to decide what we wanna be when we're this young eh? Follow your dreams. Environmental Science sounds great!

    P.S. I'm obsessed with laughing cow as well.

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  5. what a great post!! I am super excited for you that your life is taking a turn in directions and you are discovering your passions and interests in regards to school and careers!! I had something similar happen where I was convinced I wanted to go to law school and was all ready to take the LSAT but found that whenever I was in bookstores, the books I was picking off the shelves all revolved around neuroscience.. I thought maybe law ISNT for me! You can always tell when someone finds their career passion because it's something they strive to do better at because they want to.. not for anyone else!

    I cant believe you tried laughing cow for the FIRST time!! Isn't it delicious?! I just had some with some mushrooms and 'everything pretzels' from trader joes.

    My food preferences have been changing too! Lots of hummus, yogurt, spring veggies.. less cravings for "comfort foods".. So good to hear that you are venturing out of your safety net and trying some new foods!! Have a wonderful wonderful weekend and congrats about housing next year!!

    xo
    laur

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  6. aww im glad you found a new major and got the good housing!!!
    a;dkf i can't wait until I visit UCONN - you make it sound so lovely!

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  7. My major was dietetics as well when I first entered college...funny enough, I also started questioning that major choice when I too started failing chemistry. I knew that the eating disordered voice choose that major for me in hopes that I would 'learn' how to stay thin - how silly! I'm now majoring in Health Promotion - a much healthier choice for a recovered person! Keep me updated on your situation! :)

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  8. I'm an environmental studies major and i love it!!

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  9. My brother is an Environmental Sciences major. He worked at NASA as an intern a few summers ago. It's definitly an interesting field, and it can really take you places. Don't worry about not having a full-out plan. You've got your whole life for that, yknow? Just follow what you think is best for you, inside and out, and don't worry about the rest. That's an even bigger step forwards (for someone with an ED anyways) than having a plan for everything. Good luck with the new major!
    ~Tori

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  10. hi girlie
    im glad to hear your doing so well :) im so proud of you!
    thats terrible about that girl saying that about her friend! some people really are just not nice people AT ALL.
    yay for a new dorm :)
    i love the quote at the end, thanks for sharing :)
    have a great night hun
    love you lots
    xxxx

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  11. All the cool kids fail/drop chemistry! (I started off college as a bio major and flunked a class for the first and last time..so far!) I'm glad you're dropping the class before you get stuck with a grade you're not pleased with..there's no rush! I didn't realize you were a dietetics major but I can completely understand how the nutrition classes would not be helpful in your stage of recovery. Maybe one day you could take them at face value but for right now it's probably too soon. Environmental Sci would be awesome! And very practical when it comes to finding a job, you know everything is about "green jobs" these days :) You sound super busy, but I'm glad lots of things are falling into place! That residence hall looks sooooo nice! Pretty track too!

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  12. How great that you've been keeping busy! Don't be afraid to steer your life in a different direction -- I had two majors before I settled on English, even though I always 'secretly' wanted to be an English major. My college experience was SO much more fulfilling after I made that change!

    I know it's a bit mysterious when you suddenly stop craving winter foods, but you can trust that you have many more winters ahead -- no shortage of chances to eat cold-weather foods!

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  13. When I was in college, I was in your same position. I was junior and wanted to go into college foodservice. I was on the college newspaper. After an internship at Bryn Mawr, I realize journalism was where my heart was. I have never regretted it.

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  14. Is your quote from the "Going After Cacciato" by Tim O'Brien? He also wrote "The Things They Carried" which is AMAZING!! I'm an environmental studies major and have found it interesting because it seems like there are two different aspects to every issue: the biological aspect and the political/social aspect. Oh, and your room for next year looks like it will be incredible!

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  15. Heh, I used to do the same thing! With the eating a lot of lower calorie foods. After a certain calorie-intake, I realized I really couldn't just increase portions of food and add more stuff to meals anymore though, so I learned. When I was still stuck on shakes - I insisted on using like two cups of lowfat frozen yogurt, when I could have just been using like half that amount or less if I'd just bought Ben and Jerrys or something. Its still hard sometimes, but it does start to become a habit. Kinda funny really, to be standing there looking at boxes "What? This only has 150 calories to a whole cup? Not worth it, I could eat a cup for granola for 400! Nope. Granola it is." What helped me start switching to higher-calorie things was starting with things I felt comfortable with. I started using higher calorie fruits and breads. Then cereals and yogurt. So on and so forth. It amde transistioning a lot easier since by the time I started a new switch-up, I had become comfortable with the previous one and was no longer afraid of it. And it gets easier every time.
    Hope you have a happy Monday!

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  16. Rachel- You're absolutely right! The quote IS from "Going after Cacciato". I've read "The Things They Carried" as well, and you're right- it's brilliant. He's such a strong man, and a role model for MANY (including myself).

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  17. hey lauren,
    i really enjoyed that little story about the two girls that talked about the revocered friend. its always good to hear things like that :)
    have a lovely day

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