My motivation to update is MIA! I've been looking everywhere but it's yet to be found!
I did manage to spot just enough motivation to post a few pictures and make a few comments!
My roommate told me the other night that she was CRAVING chocolate! So I fixed her this:
Am I good or am I good?!?! Can you believe that she NEVER had oatmeal before I made it for her. Now she will only eat it if I make it!! In this mix:
1 packet instant quaker oats
2/3 cup chocolate soy milk
2 TBS Dark Chocolate Dreams pb (one melted and mixed in, one on top)
A hand full of Mocha M&M's.
I have just been CRAVING peanut butter lately, and putting it on everything!
From sandwich thins-
And even on an apple....which, err, is currently in my stomach.
I haven't had that combo in YEARS, and I forgot how refreshing it was! It's a lot lighter (the way it sits in my stomach I mean!) than having it on bread or in oatmeal!
I had a not-so-good incident last night that I thought I would share with you girls. It wasn't self-destructive in any way, but instead it was one of those moments where I was asking myself "what's wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?!" WHILE I was doing it.
Let me explain.
My plan last night was to go to the gym around 4:30 with my friend, then walk over to Yoga around 6. It's a relaxation/breathing/meditation yoga, so I love going there right after a good workout. Then after that I was going to go with my friend to a club meeting that she belongs too.
Well, when I got to the gym around 4:30, they swiped my card and told me that I had a hold on it, and I would need to go to the Bursars office in order to pay before they let me into the gym.
I could INSTANTLY feel my chest tighten, and my anxiety RUSHING towards me. This would mess up my whole routine, my ENTIRE plan. I had a plan. Now it was altered and I wasn't sure how I was going to handle it. So I called my mom and started to get upset at her, and ANGRY at her for this. It wasn't her fault, and I am so embarrassed to admit to this! I got frustrated and ended up hanging up and running across campus to try to pay. But once I was there they said that I needed a credit card in order to pay the fee. So once again I called me mom and started tearing up (oh gosh...) and honestly almost having a panic attack. To make a long story short, she ended up being able to pay it online, but it would take a few hours for my card to begin working again.
Once I realized that I wouldn't be going to the gym, I also realized something extremely important. I wasn't stressing because I couldn't go to the gym (like I would have imagined), I was stressing because my routine was being changed, and the night wasn't going to work out as I had planned.
I ended up calling my friend who was supposed to meet me there, to explain to her why I wasn't there. But turns out she had forgotten her shoes back at her dorm, and was just going to go to the gym after the meeting tonight, so she wouldn't feel rushed. I asked to join her and she (obviously) said of course!
Now, I'm not really sure what I am looking for, in terms of a response or comments. I'm just kind of upset at myself for acting the way that I did...but I know it was my anxiety, and not my eating disorder. My doctor offered to increase my anxiety medication, and I think I'm going to take her up on that. I feel like this is a HUGE road block in my recovery, and I really want it to be minimized as much as possible!
EDITED TO ADD
You girls love your giveaways, I think we ALL know that!! So check out the giveaway going on at Foods That Fit !!!
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