Have you girls heard that song by the Black Eyed Peas?? If not...do so NOW!
This is sort of the song that has been keeping me going over the past few days. It's just so upbeat and makes me want to go outside and DANCE and be FREE!
I forgot how much music affects me..
Well...today was yet another doctor day. However, unlike the last appointment which brought me to tears and felt like the doctor had handed me a package of hopelessness, this appointment gave me hope. My weight went up a little bit, and although initially I was a bit freaked out by the concept of gaining weight on my own, I was able to rationalize. I was driving home and ED began bashing me on how I have been overeating, and I need to start cutting back and reverting back to my old ways, and skipping snacks etc etc. Yet, in the middle of his little lecture, I held up a STOP sign. I basically was like "woahhhh ED! Shut up!!!". I began thinking about the past week, and thinking about how I have been so much more social, and so much more involved with things in my life. I've been going out and talking and being creative. My thoughts haven't been 100% focused on food, and it scares me sometimes...but at the same time, it excites me. I began thinking about all of my goals and everything I want to accomplish in life. I began thinking about volunteer work that I want to do this year at school, and studying abroad and travelling and making a difference in other people's lives, instead of just focusing on mine. And all of these goals and aspirations completely outweighed the importance of a couple extra pounds. They aren't even EXTRA pounds, they are HEALTHY and NEEDED pounds.
So here I sit. Ready for the future. Excited by the fact that school is no longer out of the picture. And possibly even more excited that I don't need to see the doctor for two weeks, as opposed to the usual weekly appointments =P