Monday, July 27, 2009

There is greener grass.

Not literally. But all of your comments allowed me to realize that this isn't going to last forever. It's just a part of recovery- getting back into "real" life. Something incredible happened on Saturday though. I was having a rough day (as most of you already know), but I had planned on going to my friends party that night and I was sick and tired of always canceling on my friends because I would "rather" sit at home and do nothing. Getting out of my comfort zone is difficult for me, but I am SO glad I did that night.

It was a very simple party. There was alcohol, which is something that I usually avoid because of the empty calories. But I decided on Saturday that I was tired of not including myself in things simply because of my ED. So I drank. Not too much, but not too little either =P I wouldn't say I got drunk, but I was close. I played pong and snacked on pretzels and blow-pops, and LAUGHED. Like an ACTUAL teenager, I was having fun and felt like myself. And it wasn't JUST the alcohol talking, because I knew I had to drive home so I stopped drinking early, and even as the buzz was wearing off I was still being a social little butterfly. It was wonderful.

Bee Tee Dubs: I am pretty good at pong if I do say so myself =P

The next day (yesterday) I woke up in the most AMAZING mood. I made a goal for myself- to focus on the day and the things I wanted and love to do instead of the food. It was a challenge for sure, but I did it. I even managed to get some more of my wall collage finished.

(if you look in the bottom left corner there's a picture that says "I am not a number." It may or may not be a cell phone add. But same effect right?

As for today...I have hope. I am trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and keep myself occupied with other things, including sun-bathing, music listening, and simply living (I saved a turtle and 6 frogs!)

Two thumbs up!!!


  1. Yay for being a normal teenager. a little drank here & there isn't going to hurt ;p

    a turtle and six frogs? awesome girl!

    Keep going strong.

    L. x

  2. i love collages! i am in the process of making one too :-)

  3. it's crazy how much fun being a teenager can actually be. right?! so glad you had such a great night out with your friends :) keep it up, babe!

    xo love,

  4. So happy for you Laura. You deserve it!

    --Love the collage, too!--


  5. so glad you had fun!
    Thats such a major step!
    I'm proud!

  6. YAY!!! I'm glad you went out and enjoyed yourself! Keep remembering how much fun it was to live life :)

    Glad you're doing well, girl!

  7. YAY go girl! Get your drinkin' game on and live it up. I'm proud!

  8. I'm so proud of you Laura. I'm so happy that you were able to enjoy the time with your friends. I love beer pong! woo!

  9. Hey! I'm a new bloggee but I've been following yours for a little while (not to be creeper or anything... err...). Just wanted to say your night sounds AWESOME. Haha it's funny how attractive justt doing normal "teenager" things is, right?
    One thing I do when I get caught up in the whole "resign to ED" mentality is to think of what I want out of life, going back to college, and all that stuff; pretty quickly the need to follow ED just gets so much less important.
    Good luck!

  10. aww girlie I am so glad to her that you had a great night out!! You totally deserve a care free night!

  11. your doing great..keep remembering how great you felt when you were fighting

  12. I'm so glad you enjoyed being a normal teenager and that you got to let yourself enjoy alcohol and snack that night. i basically avoid alcohol for the same reason your ED told you to avoid it to and for other ED issues it causes me, and to hear that you were able to challenge your ED and have a great night is truly something great to hear! I hope you continue to do this and experience life for what it should be. Hearing this gives me a bit more hope that maybe things can get better for me too :)