Sunday, August 2, 2009

Social Situations

Music that matches my mood (MMM)

I've been finding it easier and easier to match a certain song with how I feel...which has been really helping me express how I feel lately.

I also find myself extremely confused as to HOW I have been feeling lately. Torn between the two extremes actually. Let me explain.

Recently I've been able to escape the monotonous world of food and body-thoughts by "putting myself out there". If a friend calls to ask if I want to hang out, and a part of me says "no...that's not what we had planned" I simply ignore that and go. And each time I do that it gets easier and easier, and now it's reached a point where I'm actually LOOKING for people to hang out with, and for things to do. As I began doing things, I began being able to think about other things while I'm at home. I realized that just sitting around at home and not getting out was not going to magically allow me to think about other things. I need to live my life, get out of my house, try new things, and with that I'll begin thinking differently. That is exactly what happened.

An example of this would have to be yesterday. I planned to get together with two girls from CEDC-

Normally a day or two before I plan on going on a "trip" (she lives ~2 hours away from me) I look for reasons to back out or to cancel...but no such thought crossed my mind. I was actually anxious and excited to go and hang out with them, and the day did not disappoint. It was just so chill. We drank coffee (is 6 cups too much for one day??), went shopping around a little festival her town was having, and just simply enjoyed seeing each other again. They are such terrific and inspirational people, and they are doing SO well. Part of me feels like I'm a little far behind...but hell, everyone goes at their own pace right?

Well..the day was going wonderfully until I decided to get together with another friend of mine, who is a guy. Actually...he's a friend of a guy I met while in Boston. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I put myself in an uncomfortable situation, and it left me feeling insecure and unsure of my social abilities- at least regarding male relationships. I just feel like I'm not comfortable enough with myself, and poor past experiences have led me to be extremely unconfident, awkward, and apprehensive. I'm not really sure what to do.

I did have a really good conversation with my friend from work about it though. I gave him the readers digest version and he simply laughed and said "things like this happen all the time. You're just experiencing a normal part of life." I didn't mention my personal issues, just the situation as a whole. But it was such a relief to hear that, and almost excited me to know that this is something that NORMAL people deal with.

So I was wondering if anyone out there had any advice on how to feel more comfortable in my own skin around the other sex. I feel a little lost and almost ashamed.

OTHERWISE...I'm loving this new life I'm leading. It's quite refreshing!


  1. i'm sorry about the uncomfortable sitch yesterday girl but do not let that hinder all of the growth and progress you have made in terms of social situations! you are doing amazing with this new life you're creating for yourself, Laur :)

  2. I'm sooo glad to hear that despite the uncomfortable incident you are loving your new and wonderful life. Around guys, I always try to be myself and just relax. I try not to put on a front or worry about what I look like. I just try to be me, whoever that is.. haha. Anyway, have a lovely night dear.

  3. I love the picture
    it's so cool, so cheerful and fun.
    I'm struggling with that problem atm
    if you get some good advice, drop me a line :)

  4. way to go with putting yourself out there and seeing friends! that's been one tough part about my summer as well, but it gets easier and more natural with time! :-)

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  6. I totally understand how you feel about the guy sitch Laura. I have...a lot of past history that I'm not terribly proud of. I've had to face a lot of things due to now being in a relationship (I've lost 3-4 "friends" in the past week or so because the guys I know do not appreciate not being able to get what they want from me)
    Anyways! I know it can be really confusing to figure things out at first, but I've found a lot of ways to help myself feel more comfortable when I'm going out and such. A few key things:
    ~Wear clothes that you feel good in. Sounds lame, but when you feel like you look good - you are more confident in yourself and overall, that makes you feel stronger and capable.
    ~Don't hang around anyone who makes you feel like a lesser person. You are beautiful, unique and strong. Anyone who treats you poorly isn't worth your time (took me a lot to learn that one)
    ~ Be strong in your mind. Know what you're looking for - be it friendship, a few dates, a boyfriend - whatever. Just know where you're at and what you want. Makes you less likely to feel confused or unsure about what's going on. Doesn't matter what he thinks, as long as you know where you're at in your own heart.

    take care.
    (ps - sorry for the deleted post.I missed a typo.)

  7. aww I am glad to hear you had fun with the girlfriend and didn't back out :)

    sorry to hear about the boy situation though. They are stupid. Stay strong :D

  8. All those (sponataneous?) outings with friends sound awesome...haha, wandering around with pals sounds super fun to me! :D Don't get discouraged, Laura, stay can do it!

  9. I'm glad you didn't back out either!! It was SO nice seeing you and we will have to plan another get together soon because I miss you!! And you are not behind, so don't compare yourself to others; We certainly have our struggles too!! I LOVE YOU