So there are definitely exams I could be studying for, papers I could be writing, and books I could be reading...however I was feeling a little down so I decided that updating the blog would be a good idea, since it usually puts me in a good mood (that, and all the amazing comments I receive from you guys!!!)
This past weekend has probably been one of the best weekends since I got to UConn...maybe even since last year! It was Halloween weekend, as you all know, but the last thing I wanted to do was have a repeat of last year (lame party, cold weather, slight panic attack) so I was determined to enjoy myself this weekend. It started off on a good foot- my sister and her boyfriend came up and finally met John! The four of us hung out (AKA went to walmart) and it was cute.
Saturday I got to see my girl Libby!!!
Her dogs were a part of a doggy Halloween costume contest. Cute, yes. Corny? Absolutely! But we paraded around and got caught up...so it was nice!
The major event took place on Sunday though. In the past, my Eating Disorder has caused me to become extremely timid and unsocial. Isolating myself seemed more appealing than going out and not being liked by other people. However, John wanted me to meet his family on Sunday. That meant actually traveling to his town, to his house, to meet HIS family- a group of people who I absolutely CARED about what they thought. He's extremely close to them, and I was terrified that they would dislike me.
Well...turns out they actually loved me! And seriously, I felt like a part of the family the moment I walked in. He has 6 cats, 2 skinks, and a snake! I held all of them, chatted with his parents and his sister, and simply enjoyed the company and enjoyed getting to know people who could potentially become a big part in my life. It was a risk...but I took it, and I feel stronger than ever!
That, and the following, are both reasons for my title- Project: Recovery. In my last post I listed things that I was going to try to do...including daily fear foods, no more calorie counting, and being more spontaneous. I think this weekend was risky enough to be considered spontaneous...but how about those fear foods?
Saturday John and I made cupcakes...and not just ANY cupcakes, but PB&J cupcakes. Oh...yes we did! They came out one notch below incredible! (the jelly sank to the bottom =/ ) But let me tell you something girls, after working so hard to make these, nothing felt more rewarding than being able to sit down with him and eat one. Fear food #1- complete.
On Sunday he decided to surprise me by taking me to a coffee shop near his home. I can officially say this was the best coffee house I've been too. My photo's are terrible since they were taken on my phone, but I listened to LAURA and got what I wanted- a MEDIUM soy MOCHA latte. Hell fucking yes. DELISH!!
Worth. Every. Sweet. Creamy. Caffeinated. Sip.
Fear food #2- completed!!
Cupcakes and mocha latte's aren't really on the TOP of my fear food list...more like, high avoidance foods. But regardless, I'm not going to make it seem less significant than it is, because it sure felt significant!!!
And, for good measure, here are a few more pictures from this weekend-
So girls, I encourage you to bite the bullet- take the leap- don't hold back. Because every day that you hold back, you are preventing yourself from truly living your life. Eating fear foods, not calorie counting, being spontaneous- this might have left me feeling anxious, but the feelings of happiness FAR outweighed any negative emotion.
Stay strong girls. Believe.
It's giveaway time!
Want to try some of Penny's Lowfat desserts?!