Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Eve!

I wish I could say that today (my favorite day of the year!) was in fact, my favorite day of this year. However... anxiety took hold and most of my day was spent pacing around, thinking about food, and being pretty miserable. But when I say miserable, I mean internally- I tried my very best to make my actions say otherwise and enjoy the company of my family! I think I did a pretty good job just trying to enjoy the day and focus on other things.

There were plenty of positives that came along though! Starting with last night, which was my first night at Laurel Hill as well as my meet-up with Carly. She went WAY overboard and got me quite possibly the best present I've EVER received...and I'm not exaggerating...look at everything that came in my recovery basket!

Everything has a meaning to it, ranging simply from a powerful, life-changing book all the way to a squishy ice pack to hold on to after meals or whenever I'm feeling anxious and "in my head".

Today definitely had it's fair share of challenges. I'm about to watch a movie with my parents I'll let the pictures do the story telling, and finish the update tomorrow.

Have a wonderful holiday everyone!


  1. that is some great loot! the power of now is supposed to be an amazing book, my mom and a bunch of people i know read it. i'm sorry that you haven't been able to thoroughly enjoy the day because of anxiety over food, etc, but tomorrow is a new day and i hope you are able to kick back and have a great time. you have a beautiful family!

  2. i truly hope you are able to enjoy your holiday. you are beautiful and deserve it <3

  3. Until I read the power of now I never noticed how in sane my mind can make me if I choose to let it. it can teach us to take reigns of our own mind, focus on the beauty and love around us, just like we all did when we were children and the world was full of wonder. We are still in that same world, but our vision has been clouded by meetings, appointments, paperwork, debt, clocks ticking, deadlines approaching, past frustrations and dissapointments, the list goes on and on and on if you let it. Tolle suggest that we have the power to focus on this very moment, as it is the only one we really have. The past is past and the future is not here, and may not ever come. I how you can do this with your holiday tomorrow. Christmas can be great if you do not let ed ruin it. After reading this book I realized that any form of negativity I may have in the moment actually reflects a resistance to the present moment - a refusal to accept the here and now. previous to this, I had thought that negativity simply is, and therefore should simply be noticed and accepted as part of the current reality, and not struggled against. And yeah, true, negativity shouldn't be railed at nor struggled against, but should instead be simply noticed. However, noticing negativity should include being aware that it involves my resistance to the here and now, and my choosing instead to be wrapped up in my thoughts and that there is a liberating alternative that is actually what is true and real! Hpe you get as much out of this book as i did. It is really a great one, even Oprah likes it!

  4. you are a beauty, laura!
    what gorgeous gifts you recived too!! SO awesome

    keep your mind focused on family and freinds. love and smiles, babes. its so tough.. it really is. but we can over come this.


  5. beautiful pictures girl!!
    keep pushing through and enjoy deserve a great holiday and you are so blessed!
    i LOVE that orange hat-im obsessed with orange.

  6. Have a wonderful Christmas! Take a deep breath and try your best to enjoy the holiday! (Although Christmas is probably the most stressful holiday! It is also full of the most love.)

    Love youuuuu!

  7. yayyyyyyy! i love the pictures-beautiful! i hope you have a GREATTTTT holiday and try to enjoy it :)

  8. Sorry it wasn't all great, but just do your best to enjoy the remainder of this chilly, great holiday! Merry Christmas!

    That Starbucks ornament is tooooo cute! :D

  9. Good morning lovely,
    You can change the spirit of the holidays around. Happiness is something only we can create. Like others have mentioned, focus on your family, friends and love<3

    Thinking about you! Merry Christmas, darling!

    xo Rebecca

  10. Merry Christmas, Girl!

    What an awesome gift! Such a great idea and love that book! I bet you'll love it. I haven't read it, but it looks fantastic.
    <3 jess

    P.S LOVE that starbucks cup.

  11. That hat is the cutest thing EVER. I want one!
    Looks like you're having a great holiday :) So glad you are surrounded by those you love!
    Merry Christmas girly!

  12. Mine was the same, and I just couldn't help it, I reverted back to a lot of my ED ways and it was really quiet a triggering day, and it's left me in such a bad state of mind.

    You got lovely presents and it shows how many people love you and care for you,
    you deserve it all.

  13. Even though my blog is just a baby I've been reading yours for a long time... I'm happy to finally delurk and come out of the shadows!
    I'm sorry that today hasn't been everything you'd hoped. A nurse always used to tell me "You can start your day over at any time." Christmas ain't done until the clock strikes twelve ;) Regardless though, I'm really proud of you for fighting through the feelings of anxiety, rather than just submitting to ED off the bat. That's incredible progress in itself!


  14. Aww what a good friend! I hope Laurell hill went well <3
    I almost got the Starbuck ornament but I settle for a differnt french roast coffee ornament instead! =D <3